We don't mean to clear your throat, speak in
deeper tones, and scratch your privates between declaratives. Just get
to the point quicker. As much as men love the sound of your voice and
really love to help you out, their attention spans are short. Their
minds will wander if they don't see a climax and conclusion on your
story's horizon. So, as you are sharing the details of today's run-in
with Brenda from Business Affairs, skip the transcript of the exchange
and create a highlight reel. He'll get the gist if you keep it short and
just say what's on your mind—like most men talk when talking with other
guys.
But, remember, he's not hearing the story for story's sake. He's looking
for a problem to fix for you. So, if there isn't one or you're not
really looking for solutions, broadcast that to him in black and white:
"I'm not looking for you to fix anything; I feel better just having you
understand how I'm feeling." Say it your way. Suddenly, you will have
given him the reward he was looking for—the satisfaction of having
provided something of value to you, the woman he cares about.
Doing it like the lions on the Discovery Channel
is arguably the most popular and arousing position for men. Men love
the primal element and find the fantasy submissiveness highly erotic. No
wonder it's also the most difficult position for men to hold off
orgasm..
Guys can be shy about telling you what really
turns them on and how they like to be touched down there. So, ask. Your
permission to be open will create a safe, comfortable atmosphere that
can turn into some really hot sex.
Ask him to demonstrate how he masturbates while thinking of you. Note
the way he grips his shaft and mimic it. Also, become familiar with his
frenulum, one of the most sensitive areas of the penis, which is on the
underside of the head. Playful licks and light pressure to the frenulum
often coax more blood into the penis for even harder erections. When
stimulating him manually, wrap your hand around his penis so that the
fleshy pads of your fingers, not the fingertips, rub over the frenulum.
Try using a lube—it will make the experience more pleasurable for both
of you. Place his hand over yours so he can guide you up and down just
the way he likes it.
To double his pleasure, stimulate another erogenous zone while playing
with his penis—his anus, his testicles, his nipples. Lick the nerve-rich
seam running down the middle of his scrotum, then gently push up
against the base of his testicles with your hand. That's a way to arouse
his prostate, the sensitive gland known as the male G-spot, without
having to insert a finger in his anus, according to author Ian Kerner.
Wrapping your hands around his derriere will
make him feel wanted, which will turn him on more than any Victoria's
Secret undergarment. Don't be shy about squeezing hard. It's plenty
padded back there.
You think we're kidding. Well, the vast majority of men responding to The Big Book of Sex survey said they expect foreplay to last 15 minutes or longer, on par with what the women respondents think.
Slow-burning sex isn't better only for you. "Longer foreplay helps men
synchronize with their partners, giving them confidence and, as a
result, better control over ejaculation," says San Francisco sex
therapist Seth Prosterman, PhD. Men know that it takes women longer to
become aroused. So, relax and take your time, and put some of your own
effort into getting in a sexual mood, suggests Gardos. Fantasize the way
you do when you are masturbating alone. Grab your vibrator or use your
fingers to start to rev things up. He'll love watching you. When he
stimulates you with his hand, guide him to show him how you like to be
touched. Your magic phrase? "Like this." That's all—he'll get the
picture. Slip one hand down his backside and pull his pelvis toward you,
showing him the motion that turns you on. Don't forget your line: "Like
this."
During sex, switch positions—you on top. Slowly kiss him along his neck
and collarbone. Linger by his belt line, looking up at him as you kiss
his abdomen. Then go down on him slowly, looking up at him as you take
him into your mouth—which men find to be an incredible turn on.
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